Alagaesian Computers
by Jedi Master Evenstar
Summary: Oh no! People in Alagaesia have discovered the Interenet! How long will it take for them to mess it up? Read and Review. Flames will be ignored, but constructive critisism is always welcome. Rating for language in later chapters
1. Intro

**A/N: I really don't have much to say about this fic except that it's my first real Eragon fic and not just a list. This is basically a story where the people of Alagaësia find a computer and discover the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of the Internet. Rated for some foul language in later chapters. That's all I'm gonna say for now. Read and Review!**

**BTW: Since Valentine's Day is right around the corner, I wrote a little ditty for my disclaimer:**

**Roses are red,**

**Violets are blue,**

**I don't own Eragon or Eldest,**

**So please don't sue.**

**Atra mor'ranr waise ono. (For those of you who were wondering, I'm trying to say, "May peace be with you")**

**Master Evenstar**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"What's that?" asked Eragon as he watched Murtagh carry a large, black, square thing into his room.

"It's called a laptop. It's a type of computer," Murtagh explained, turning the laptop on. "I stole a bunch of them from Galbatorix. There's one for me, you, Thorn, Saphira, Nasuada, Arya, Orik, and Angela." He handed Eragon another laptop for Saphira.

"Thanks!" Eragon smiled, staring at the screen in awe.

"No problem, little brother," said Murtagh. "Here's a Wi-Fi adaptor, also courtesy of Galbatorix." He tossed Eragon the Wi-Fi adaptor.

"Wi-Fi?" the younger Rider repeated, quirking an eyebrow.

"It's something you plug into your laptop so you can get on the Internet."

"What's the Internet?" Eragon inquired.

Murtagh sighed. "Has anyone ever told you that you ask to many questions?"

"Several people. So what's the Internet?"

"It's a place that you can go to watch videos, read stories, play games, or talk to your friends. I'll come by tomorrow and show you how to set up an AIM account."

"What's an"

"I'll tell you tomorrow!" Murtagh cut him off before he could ask another stupid question. "I have to get these laptops to everyone else first." He trudged out of the room, leaving Eragon alone with his new computer.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**Okay, that was the intro. I'll post the first chapter sometime this week. Read and review!**


	2. AIM

**A/N: Ok, here's the first official chapter of Alagaësian Computers. I don't own Eragon and Eldest. As always, read and review.**

**Se onr sverdar sitja hvass.**

**Master Evenstar**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Over night, Eragon became obsessed with his laptop. He changed the wallpaper to a fairth he had taken of Arya (not to her knowledge). Saphira teased him about it, but she was one to talk because her wallpaper was a fairth of Glaedr.

Just as he had promised, Murtagh came by the next day to set up an AIM account for him.

"There, I've installed the program. Now all you have to do is follow the instructions," said Murtagh. "My screen name is Scarback. IM me once you've got it working."

"Thanks, Murtagh," said Eragon, turning back to the screen. "Ok, so how do you start this thing?"

**Step 1: Choose your screen name**

"Hmmm. What should I pick?" Eragon wondered out loud.

_Are you talking to yourself again, little one? _Saphira asked, looking over her laptop.

"No," Eragon replied in an annoyed tone. "I'm trying to pick a screen name."

_You don't have a screen name yet? _Saphira chuckled, a small jet of flames escaping her nostrils. _I got mine yesterday!_

"How can you even use the computer without breaking it?" Eragon asked.

_I use my mind to hit the keys. Ooh! Glaedr just logged on._ She started typing and ignoring Eragon completely.

Eragon rolled his eyes and started making a list of possible screen names.

-Shadeslayer

-Eragon&Arya4evrxo

-Arya'sSecretLover

-xArgetlamx

-Brisingr4927

-RiderMaster

-BlueRider

-HuMaNeLf

-RIPBrom

-Triannadigsme

-Ilikemeat

Eragon scanned the list and realized he liked all of them. It was gonna be REALLY hard to choose.

"Ok, the Brom one is definitely out, as well as the ones about Arya. Arya would probably kill me for the meat one, and I won't do that to Trianna." Eventually, he decided on a screen name.

**Step 1: Choose your screen name**

"RiderMaster," Eragon muttered as he typed.

_Are you always gonna say the things you type out loud? _Saphira asked, exasperated.

"Yes. Now let me finish getting my screen name."

Step 2: Choose your password. Your password should be at least 6 characters in length. Do not include your last name, first name, screen name, or obvious words.

"IheartArya. I don't think that's obvious." He pressed the OK button.

**This screen name is already being used. Please choose another one.**

"Damn it!" Eragon growled. "I guess I'll go with Shadeslayer."

He typed in his new screen name, and thankfully, it went through.

Shadeslayer has logged on.

Shadeslayer: Hey Murtagh! I got a screen name!

Scarback: Cool. Your screen name is Shadeslayer?

Shadeslayer: Yeah. I wanted to be RiderMaster, but someone already had it.

RiderMaster has logged on.

RiderMaster: Hello Eragon-finiarel. I heard you got a screen name.

Shadeslayer: YOU!! You're the jackass that stole my screen name!!!

RiderMaster: Eragon, do you know who this is?

Shadeslayer: No, not really.

RiderMaster: Oromis

"Crap," Eragon muttered.

RiderMaster: We need to talk, young one.

Shadeslayer has logged off

**Review Replies:**

**WWMTgirl: This'll definately be crazy!**

**xDrkFizdrx: Thanks! I hope you keep reading.**

**Emberseve: Thanks! I'll make him as MANY more questions**

**Jimmy-barnes-13: Thanks!**

**BleedingRose11: Yes I did, and it was HILARIOUS!!**

**Ingu: Thanks! Things are definately about to get chaotic!**


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

A/N: There's gonna be more IMing in the next chapter, so you might want to know everybody's screen name.

Eragon Shadeslayer 

Saphira BlueDragon

Murtagh Scarback

Thorn ThornInUrSide

Arya Any1ButEragon

Nasuada QueenBee

Angela Toads-R-Frogs

Orik Da8thDwarf

Trianna SnakeySorceress

Roran MCHammer

Oromis RiderMaster

Glaedr DragonMasterGlaedr

Got all that? Good. On to the next chapter!


	4. AIM 2

**A/N: From now on, I'll start each chapter with an entry from Eragon's journal. I don't own Eragon, Eldest, or Xanga, so don't sue. Read and Review!**

**Atra du evarínya ono varda!**

**Master Evenstar**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Dear Journal,

I accidentally called Oromis a jackass today because he took my first choice for screen name. He didn't really appreciate it very much. He lectured me afterward for about three hours about how it's not nice to cuss people out that I don't know. Then he made me sit in the corner and think about what I did. If Brom were still my teacher, he wouldn't have made me sit in the corner. He probably would have cussed me back. I miss Brom!!

-The _Real_ RiderMaster

-----------

Shadeslayer has logged on

Any1ButEragon has logged on

Shadeslayer: Hi Arya!

Any1ButEragon has logged off

Shadeslayer: -sniff- Fine! Just leave me!

BlueDragon has logged on

BlueDragon: r u crying over Arya again, little one.

Shadeslayer: Shut up

Scarback has logged on

Scarback: Who's crying over who?

BlueDragon: Eragon over Arya

Shadeslayer: SHUT UP!!!

Scarback: Dude, you REALLY have to get over her.

Toads-R-Frogs has logged on

BlueDragon: Hi Angela

Shadeslayer: Hey Angela

Scarback: 'Sup Angela?

Toads-R-Frogs: Wow, I just became popular over the Internet!

SnakeySorceress has logged on

SnakeySorceress Can I stop babysitting Elva now Angela? She just threw up in my shoes. AGAIN!

Toads-R-Frogs: And suddenly less popular. Sure, you're off duty. Tell Solembum I said it's his turn.

SnakeySorceress: Whoohoo!!! B)

SnakeySorceress has logged off

Toads-R-Frogs: So, what seems to be the problem?

Scarback: Eragon is gonna go all emo again b/c Arya blew him off. Again.

Shadeslayer: Am not.

Scarback: Are too.

Shadeslayer: Am not.

Scarback: Are too.

Shadeslayer: Am not.

Scarback: Are too.

Shadeslayer: Am not.

Scarback: Are too.

Shadeslayer: Am not.

Scarback: Are too.

Shadeslayer: Am not.

Scarback: Are too.

ThornInUrSide has logged on

QueenBee has logged on

Any1ButEragon has logged on

RiderMaster has logged on

DragonMasterGlaedr has logged on

ThornInUrSide: Stop it! You're acting like immature children!

Scarback: Well, we R brothers…

BlueDragon: -Sigh- this is all going on the Xanga

ThornInUrSide: U have a Xanga 2? So do I!

Scarback: Me 2

Toads-R-Frogs: Ditto. Any1 else?

QueenBee: Yep

Any1ButEragon: U know it!

RiderMaster: Yes

DragonMasterGlaedr: Of course 

Shadeslayer: What's a Xanga?

All: WHAT?!? U DON'T KNOW WHAT A XANGA IS?!?!?

Shadeslayer: No

Toads-R-Frogs: It's basically an online diary that other people can read.

Scarback: U should get 1 Eragon. It would be a lot better than that little frilly blue diary you keep under your pillow.

Shadeslayer: Ok, a.) it's a journal not a diary, and b.) how do you even know about it?

Scarback: Because of all the times I've read it.

Shadeslayer: WHAT?!?! YOU (a/n: the following word may not be appropriate for some of my younger readers. And probably some of the older ones too)!!!

Scarback: KIDDING!!! Saphira told us about it.

Shadeslayer: SAPHIRA!!!!

BlueDragon has logged off

Scarback: Seriously, dude. You really need to get a Xanga.

Shadeslayer: kk. Saphira just flew out the window, so I g2g.

Scarback: C ya.

Shadeslayer has logged off

Scarback has logged off

ThornInUrSide has logged off

Any1ButEragon: Bye!

Any1ButEragon has logged off

RiderMaster: I must be off

RiderMaster has logged off

DragonMasterGlaedr: I have to go too

DragonMasterGlaedr has logged off

Toads-R-Frogs: Don't eat earwax!

Toads-R-Frogs has logged off

MC­Hammer has logged on

MCHammer: What did I miss?

MCHammer: Hello?

MC­Hammer has logged off

**Review Replies:**

**Appollamarine: Thanks! Maybe I will.**

**Given-inside: Thanks! I'm glad you think so!**

**Ingu: Poor Eragon indeed.**

**Emberseve: Thanks!**

**Jimmy-Barnes-13: Yay! Thanks!**


	5. Xanga

**A/N: If any of you have ideas of what Eragon should do next chapter (like get a MySpace, play Sims, read fan fiction, etc.) I'd like to hear them! Post your suggestion via review, and if I decide to use it, I'll put your author name in the chapter somewhere!**

**BTW: I know the summary says I'll ignore flames, but this is the kind of flame I'm talking about:**

"**This sucks. You suck. Don't ever write again."**

**As you can see, all this does is hurt my self-esteem. If you have something bad to say about my stories, please tell me what I can do to make it better. Example:**

"**This was one of the most atrocious stories I've ever read! You had no hook, your sentences needed variation, and for the love of Pete, keep a thesaurus with you at all times!"**

**See? This is an example of (severe) constructive criticism. It tells me how bad the chapter was and what I need to do to make it better. So if you have a beef about my chapter, please tell me so in this format. **

**I don't own Eragon, Eldest, Xanga, or Monty Python so don't sue. Thanks**

**Atra esterní ono thelduin **

**Master Evenstar**

**0oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo000000000000000000000000oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo0**

Dear Journal,

I'm starting to get the hang of my computer. I (ok, Murtagh) set up a thing on my email that whenever I get a new email, my computer says, "Message for you sir!" It reminds me of that little kid what's-his-face that the Council of Elders used to send messages to me with.

Everyone's harassing me to get a Xanga. (Sigh) I guess I'll do it. I still like you better. I don't care what my evil brother says. You'll always be number 1 in my heart (behind Arya, of course).

-xArgetlamx

---------------

"Ok, setting up a Xanga is just like setting up an AIM account," Murtagh explained with the same bored monotone voice of a tour guide that's given the same speech 15 times today. He left his brother alone, hoping he wouldn't accidentally blow up the computer.

"Ok, let's see how you start this thing," said Eragon. Saphira took flight, not wanting to listen to her Rider say what he typed out loud again.

**Step 1: Choose your screen name.**

"Oh, not this again. I guess I'll go with what I signed off as in my journal last night: xArgetlamx."

**Step 2: Choose your password.**

"BlueRider"

**Step 3: Confirm your password.**

"Yeah, yeah, yeah"

**Step 4: Copy the code you see below.**

"Is that a Q or an O? Don't know, don't care. QW4G3Z."

He hit the button that said "Create Account" and, for the first time, it successfully went through.

"Huzzah! Welcome to xArgetlamx's Xanga site!"

Eragon went straight to work. He needed to pimp his Xanga pronto. He quickly downloaded a fairth of him, Saphira, and Arya taken during the Agaetí Blödhren and made it his Xanga's background. Then he started on his profile.

Name: Eragon Shadeslayer  
Country: Alagaësia  
State: Is that like a village? I'm from Carvahall.  
Birthday:  
Gender: Male  
Interests: Flying, sparring, killing Ra'zac, my computer, Arya

"I'm bored already! I want premium!"

---------------------------

Dear Journal,

Murtagh told me that a Xanga would be better than this journal. Well, he must be on crack. I still love you more! Xanga… is… dumb! I guess since I already made an account, I'll go ahead and make sure it doesn't go to waste.

-Shadeslayer. Eragon Shadeslayer

Dear Xanga,

I didn't really do much today. I set up a Xanga account, applied this cool background, and made my profile. Oh, yeah. I found an online game called Poke the Bunny. You press this button and poke a bunny till it bites you. It's fun!

I guess that's all. You can leave a comment if you want, but if not, then just leave!

Shadeslayer out.

**0oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo000000000000000000000000oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo0**

**Review Replies:**

**Jimmy-Barnes-13: Thanks! I had a little help with the IM names, but I'm glad you like them.**

**Apollamarine: Thanks! I'll update ASAP, but midterms are coming up, so I'll probably only be able to update on the weekends.**

**Emberseve: Yup. I feel the "Brotherly Love".**

**Ingu: Thanks! Eragon's frilly blue diary was going to be pink, but unfortunately, I'm friends with about 3 Eragon fangirls that would kill me if I did that.**

**Eragonsgirl14: Thanks. Like I said, I'll update when I get the chance.**

**Merrit: Thanks!**

**This is not a flame: Alright. As you can see, I've redefined what I consider a flame and what I consider constructive criticism. Thanks for your concern though. I like phoenixes.**


End file.
